Here is what my grandpa advised my father. Wonder if he will take the advise? What do you think?
The seven stages of fatherhood
We are all familiar with Shakespearean line about how "one man in his time plays many parts. His acts being seven ages. ( to those who have forgotten these lines that we all learned at school, I have attached them below!) I am begining to think of fatherhood in a similar vein with its seven stages too:
"Days of awe and wonder". When a father beholds his first child, he is struck speechless, awestruck to see such a tiny image of himself complete in all respects. Every day brings a new wonder- today he smiled, then he sneezed, he opened his eyes, he said his first word, he actually said "da da". A sight of him or her erases all troubles of life and you could hours just gazing into his eyes and making him smile. These are the golden years for all dads.
"The all knowing one". As they grow older, they are convinced that their father knows everything and has the answer to any questions they may have. It is a conviction that they carry with a confidence that does your heart good. Your boss at work may think you are an idiot but come home and your child looks up to you with adoration in his eyes. The signature line of this period is " My daddy can do anything." What more can a man want?
"You dont know anything". But the onset of teen years turns this adoration upside down. Now you know nothing. Every little thing has to be explained you in detail and in an exasperated voice. Now dad this is how you work the computer. Or this is not what we do at the prom. You dont understand fashion and please please dont play those songs in public they are so so old. The signature line of these years is " Father? he's hopelessly old-fashioned."
"Who is this person". Off they go to college and the crysllais turns into a butterfly that you hoped for but could not belive. Is this the person who never studied till just before the exam day? How come she is working from daybreak to midnight? How has he invented this new cure for the latest disease? How has he blossomed forth only in a few years? Where did all this energy come from? The signature line for this period is well "Wow!"
"I never knew ye". Then they meet a partner and you never can understand their behaviour anymore. The cooing and billing that goes on and that from a person who winced when you hugged him in public. And god forbid if you actually kissed him. The concentration on family and finances turns your head. How come he never thought of all this so carefully when he was living at home. How come his champagne tastes have now turned to root beer? You sometimes have to ask "Who are these people?"
"Return of the all( almost) knowing one". The grand kids arrival turns the clock back. The telephone now rings constantly after years of silence. What do we do if he cries at night? Should we feed him the new feeds? Which school should he go to? It is like old times again except that this time you have both your child and soon enough his child asking you for your advice. The signature line of these years is, hopefully, "Before we decide, let's get dad's opinion."
"Child of your children". A little while later when you have grown even older, you now become the child in the household. It is the time when your children delight on lecturing you on all aspects of life from diet to excercise, from financial matters to being out without informing them. They coddle you and fuss over you and even as they berate you for all and sundry things, you are deluged with their concern all around and about you. It is as if all the love you ever gave them when they were young is being repaid a thousand time over. It is I confess a time that I have come to love.
With that life turns a full circle.
"Days of awe and wonder". When a father beholds his first child, he is struck speechless, awestruck to see such a tiny image of himself complete in all respects. Every day brings a new wonder- today he smiled, then he sneezed, he opened his eyes, he said his first word, he actually said "da da". A sight of him or her erases all troubles of life and you could hours just gazing into his eyes and making him smile. These are the golden years for all dads.
"The all knowing one". As they grow older, they are convinced that their father knows everything and has the answer to any questions they may have. It is a conviction that they carry with a confidence that does your heart good. Your boss at work may think you are an idiot but come home and your child looks up to you with adoration in his eyes. The signature line of this period is " My daddy can do anything." What more can a man want?
"You dont know anything". But the onset of teen years turns this adoration upside down. Now you know nothing. Every little thing has to be explained you in detail and in an exasperated voice. Now dad this is how you work the computer. Or this is not what we do at the prom. You dont understand fashion and please please dont play those songs in public they are so so old. The signature line of these years is " Father? he's hopelessly old-fashioned."
"Who is this person". Off they go to college and the crysllais turns into a butterfly that you hoped for but could not belive. Is this the person who never studied till just before the exam day? How come she is working from daybreak to midnight? How has he invented this new cure for the latest disease? How has he blossomed forth only in a few years? Where did all this energy come from? The signature line for this period is well "Wow!"
"I never knew ye". Then they meet a partner and you never can understand their behaviour anymore. The cooing and billing that goes on and that from a person who winced when you hugged him in public. And god forbid if you actually kissed him. The concentration on family and finances turns your head. How come he never thought of all this so carefully when he was living at home. How come his champagne tastes have now turned to root beer? You sometimes have to ask "Who are these people?"
"Return of the all( almost) knowing one". The grand kids arrival turns the clock back. The telephone now rings constantly after years of silence. What do we do if he cries at night? Should we feed him the new feeds? Which school should he go to? It is like old times again except that this time you have both your child and soon enough his child asking you for your advice. The signature line of these years is, hopefully, "Before we decide, let's get dad's opinion."
"Child of your children". A little while later when you have grown even older, you now become the child in the household. It is the time when your children delight on lecturing you on all aspects of life from diet to excercise, from financial matters to being out without informing them. They coddle you and fuss over you and even as they berate you for all and sundry things, you are deluged with their concern all around and about you. It is as if all the love you ever gave them when they were young is being repaid a thousand time over. It is I confess a time that I have come to love.
With that life turns a full circle.
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